We’ve all heard that confidence is really important, but what if I told you that it’s everything – here are 5 ways to feel confident! In any meeting I’ve ever been in, it’s always the most confident person in the room that’s usually calling the shots. It has nothing to do with skill or how smart you are. I also see it in the dance studio. Usually the dancers that one feels are the best, or the instructors that are the most effective, may not be the most technical or talented. They are the ones with presence and belief in themselves and their body language screams look at me!
Confidence is about not letting yourself get in the way of you. I believe some people are born with more confidence naturally but everyone can be taught! I’m by no means done with my confidence journey but feel I’m headed in the right direction. In any case, it’s always easier to give advice then take it, right?
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
I believe that dressing the part gives you insane amounts of confidence – this is the first of 5 ways to feel confident. It’s not about how much things cost, or how new they are….it’s about how they make you feel. It’s also not about looking exactly like everyone else. This is where you have to pay attention to both your personal style and what the environment around you is wearing. You wouldn’t show up to a banking interview in an awesome Coachella get-up anymore than you would show up to Coachella in a power suit. You also don’t want to wear something that is not “you”! Find that sweet spot of fitting in and standing out. For me some pieces that give me confidence are:
- A great pair of pants
- A smart blazer
- A great fitting button down
- Comfortable high heeled shoes
- Doing my make-up, especially a bold lipstick!
Of course the pieces change given the situation but for the most part, these items help me feel more confident.
SPEAK UP, LITERALLY
I think that many times, especially women, we underestimate what we know and who we are. We think that we know less than everyone in the room. That’s where the confident person in the meeting (usually a man) will raise a point with a deep voice and look like a leader or get the sale. Then you think, that’s what I was thinking the whole time, or worst……that’s what I just said, I just didn’t say it confidently. Personally, my voice is high and doesn’t carry. If I don’t make a concerted effort to be heard, I literally won’t be heard.
This has taken years to realize and practice. I’ve been told by a dear family member that now I’ve gone in the other direction. Oh well. I think that when I do speak up, it makes me feel bolder and my body language automatically gets bolder as well. If you exude that confidence people react to you as if you are, and that in turn give you confidence! So complicated, right?!
FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT
Mogul.com recently interviewed me and asked me for career advice and the first thing that came to mind was; FAKE IT, TILL YOU MAKE IT. I don’t mean that you have to con people or not be yourself or pretend to be something you’re not. To me, it means that you are working overtime to compensate for the fact that you have in fact, not made it. You haven’t learned, you haven’t experienced, you haven’t suffered what the pros have yet, so you have to work smarter than they and imitate the professionalism even though you don’t “own it yet”. It’s good ole fashioned hard work. You can read the entire article here.
MOVE YOUR BODY
Go for run, take a dance cardio class, lift some weights…….did you do it? Ok, how do you feel? Most likely, powerful. That feeling of power is not just in your head, it’s physiological. Your body releases a powerful cocktail of chemicals each time you work out and when you do, you literally transform. You don’t just get hit with the happy stuff like dopamine, you also get adrenaline and testosterone (if you are doing strength work), all of great stuff for your confidence.
That’s why when people say that they were able to leave a bad relationship or job after finding a workout they love, they are right! Having these chemicals in your body regularly will give you more confidence naturally. Just think about how you react to a stressful situation before or after your workout…..it’s like 2 different people. The same mindset that helps you deal with stress will help you gain courage.
HUMANS
When my husband and I were in business school I always marveled at his preternatural confidence. I envied how comfortable he seemed in his skin. He could talk to anyone, be confident in a 10 year old t-shirt, and seemed to radiate energy. I never understood the term, “take a seat at the table”, until I saw him in action. One day I asked him or probably screamed: “How do you do it?! How can you just go up to anyone and just start relating and bonding?!!!”. I am like pulling my hair out just trying hand out a business card! He just shrugged and squinted his eyes “They are just some guy, you know…another human.” My jaw dropped. Why of course. Yes, they are.
So there you have it, the 5 ways to feel confident! Confidence is one of those things that I feel so passionately about. I think your life changes when you allow yourself to shine. It can be allowing yourself to wear something you think is not for you, or leaving a situation you’re unhappy in or best of all going for what your heart desires! XO, Z
