The beginning
My first few days as new mom, like most moms, in the transition from hospital to home were a blur. I don’t remember how I got there, what I wore, who I saw. I was surviving. You have the baby and the doctors and nurses rushing in and out of your room, checking you, checking the baby, poking and prodding both of you and then you’re dismissed! When we were released from the hospital with my 1st baby I remember thinking, what makes them think I can safely take him home? Do you they think it’s gonna work out? They must think I look capable?
survival
I’m sure you’ve heard that being a new mom is quite the challenge. The word survival comes to mind because of the physical and mental exhaustion. You can hear it about how difficult it is from your sister or best friend, but to be honest, you don’t really get it until you are holding that baby in your arms.
benefits
Becoming a mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Lots of things I didn’t get before I understood. I understood why my mom was so selfless, why my best friends that had kids couldn’t leave on a whim and the enormity of the task at hand and why they say parenting is the most important job.
getting help
When I did get home, I was lucky that my mom, whom lived in a different city, stayed with me for 2 weeks. She had a daycare business at the time and it was really hard for her to be away so I soaked her in as much as I could . I will never forget the day she left after those 2 weeks, it was tough. That day, I wouldn’t have an extra pair of hands, someone to make meals for me, a shoulder to cry or an sounding board for the 2 million concerns that came up that first month.
how you can do it too
Having a business myself that was still fairly young and needy of me as well. My husband, in entrepreneurial situation also, was gone often and sometimes overnight. We had no plan for a nanny or daycare since I was both distrusting of anyone watching him and had sticker shock for childcare. But I got through it and so will you! Here are some things that really helped me during those first few months and I hope that they help you too.
(spoiler alert; it does not get easier, just different hard).
Shower
Why showering is important
1. Try to make it into the shower every day even if it’s a 2 min one. Level 2 is get dressed.🤣 There is something really cathartic about taking a shower and feeling like you’re a person. I set it as my goal to shower before noon and get dressed if I could. When there was no one around to watch the baby, I would put him in a mobile bassinet wedged in front of the bathroom door. That way I could stick my head out of the curtain and take a peek for my peace of mind. Most of those showers for 4 minutes long, but still.
Nursing
Finding comfort in nursing
2. Nursing has to be comfortable, make it as comfortable as possible. If you’re nursing some of the biggest benefits are that you have to physically chill out and rest yourself. You can’t nurse on the treadmill or while cleaning the house. Enjoy these feeding times, because in the beginning that will LITERALLY be what you are doing 50% of the time, no joke.
Some links for breastfeeding and nursing outfits:
The act of nursing is biologically programmed to release feel good chemicals too! If you are not nursing, the bottle takes as much focus and yields as much bonding so you’re fine! There are so many gadgets nowadays to make it comfortable and productive, like nursing pillows, pump gadgets and more. Here are some items to wear designed for nursing. These are some of my nursing tips here.
MOVE
Working out vs. Napping
3. Workout instead of nap as soon as your doctor lets you. Not to get your body back, but to gain energy and your head back, not to mention a grip on your hormones. When I would post on Instagram that I had worked out weeks after having my baby, I got some negative feedback. Comments such as “Rest Ziba” and “Don’t push yourself” “Why are you trying to get your body back?”
Oh well.
First of all, I never got my body back, I have a new body now, it will never be the same and that’s fine! Secondly, working out makes me happy, it energizes me, it makes me feel strong. I sometimes don’t feel like doing it, but I start, then most likely I will keep going for a good 30-50 minutes.
If your doctor releases you and you’re not sick, I urge you to move. It can be a brisk walk with baby, home video, treadmill, jumping jacks and burpees in the kitchen, doesn’t matter what it is! You will feel more in control of your emotions and getting a good sweat after not being able to walk for the past couple of months with a big belly, will be cathartic. Wear leggings if you’re at home so that you can take a quick workout sesh!
Talk to Other Moms
Finding those that understand
4. Your mama tribe will be some of the most important people in your life. They get you, they will offer advice if you ask. They will cheer you on when you don’t take it and do your own thing. A good mom friend will not judge you but support you and most likely help however they can, especially if their kids are older.
There’s a great app called Peanut that helps moms connect with each other based on interests and locations, check it out! I wish that I would’ve had this resource back in 2014! All I had was the local music class and friends from afar that had babies. I’m always in awe at the moms at my boys’ schools. If they a have older kids now, many pitch in to help; give the ride home, pick the kid up, stay with him until I can get there late, bring wine! It’s a great new world out there for friendships and one of my favorite perk of being a mom.
ROUTINE
Finding what works for you both
5. Get the babe into a routine as soon as you can; they’ll feel like they are in control and frankly they are! 🙂 There’s so many books out there and blogs and references but honestly you have to come up with what works for you both. No mama and baby pair are the same. I had a difficult time following prescribed schedules but I had a very strict schedule. Naptimes were sacred and my world came to depend on him falling asleep for 2 hours in the middle of the day. Bedtime routine is also key even at weeks old.
BEDTIME
Every night I would give him a bath, rain or shine, dirty baby or no dirty baby. They’re always dirty. 🙂 Then I would rub him down with lavander oils or Aquaphor and massage him. Following that I would pull a book out or something colorful for him to gaze at for a couple of minutes. Later these would become actual books and the routine holds steady today. Bath, rubdown, book, bed. I remember reading that if you thought having a bedtime routine was hard, you should try not having one. It made total sense.
Yes, it is a huge time commitment but establishing those things that baby expects will go a long way in you having more sanity.
Wrapping it up
Still juggling, the model of the post all grown up! 🙂 I’m wearing BLANQI leggings that specialize in mama leggings. I loved wearing leggings as a new mom and still do because it helps you be mobile, comfy and you can break out into sweat sesh more easily. These are 50% OFF right now and they also specialize in hip and bump control if you’re expecting. Click here for discount using code MOTHERMUSE.
So there you have it! Those are some of the things that helped me a lot and I hope that they help you. For those of you that are moms, I would love to hear your thoughts on what helped you! 🙂 XO, Z