My Mama’s Best Advice

My mami, Rosaura, is an enigma and a force to be reckoned with. She ruled our household with both an iron fist and unconditional love. To this day she still gives us so much love, attention and guidance that I look up to her so much. So today, I’m sharing some of my mama’s best advice. It’s unflinching, practical and to this day she’s my first call when I’m in boiling or freezing water. 🙂

During my first corporate job interview, the interviewer wanted to know how I had danced ballet professionally, studied and worked all at the same time. I simply replied, anyone could if they had a mom like mine. She never forced me to do anything but inspired me to do my best, work for what I wanted, pray and never give up!

She’s an enigma because on one hand you’ve got a very conservative, victorian upbringing, Catholic Mexican-American woman. On the other hand, you have a fiercely independent feminist force you don’t want to cross but that will be the first at your side to help you. I always remember her saying things to us such as “discipline is love”, “love is paid with love”, “I’m not here to be your best friend, I’m here to be your mother” that was deeply influential. So I asked her to share some of her wisdom with us. I’m grateful she did!

But first, who is my mami? She is an entrepreneur, who had an award winning daycare in Texas year after year, for 20 years! A gifted writer, she’s currently writing again after a long hiatus and excited to share her work soon. In her youth she did accounting for race tracks and banks. She can do nearly anything except carry a tune. 🙂 “Rosi”, as her friends call her, is a mother to all. The daycare kids became her kids, and their parents became family.

15 pieces of my mama’s best advice!

1. On getting what you want in relationships

Ask for what you want: marriage, kids, no kids, no marriage, whatever. There’s 2 options: he either does what you want to make you happy or he leaves you. Either way you win! If he does what you expect of him, it’s because he sees you in his future. If not, obviously he didn’t.

Hay 2 opciones o hace lo que te hace feliz o te deja, de cualquier forma sales ganando. Si hace lo que esperas de el, es porque si estas en su futuro, si te deja ir es obvio que no. 

2. On risk-taking

If you have a mental block preventing you from reaching your dreams take a risk. Just one. You’ll realize after taking one risk that it’s really not much more difficult to take more and become an expert at it.

Si tienes barreras en tu mente que te impiden realizar tus suenos, salta una, despues  te daras cuenta que no es difcil saltarlas todas, tomar esa decision te hace experta con la practica. 

3. On living as you please

Throughout my life I’ve learned to overcome many fears. This has made me strong and make and trust my own decisions. You’ve got to ignore opinions imposed on you that are not consistent with what YOU want.

A traves de mi vida aprendi a vencer mis miedos, eso me hizo mas fuerte y a tomar mis propias deciciones. A ignorar opiniones e imposiciones que no estan de acuerdo con lo que yo quiero. 

4. Re-inventing yourself after a divorce

I erased the past with my ex and reinvented myself. I constructed a new history.

Borre mi pasado con mi ex, me reinvente de nuevo y construi una nueva historia. 

5. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams

Never let anyone come between you and your goals. Everyone gets rid of what is in their way. You have to learn to do it too or you’ll forget yourself.

Nunca dejes que nadie se interponga en tus metas, todos van quitando lo que les va estorbando en el camino, hazlo tu tambien sino te olvidaras de ti misma. 

6. Finding Hope

In the middle of life’s biggest storms there was always a lightening ray of hope that I clung on to.

En medio de mis tempestades siempre hubo un relampago de esperanza al cual me aferre. 

7. Choosing Happy

Try to do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy. They can adapt to what makes you happy if they’d like.

Trata de hacer lo que te hace feliz, no lo que hace feliz a los demas, que ellos se adapten a lo que a ti te hace feliz. 

8. On Serving Others

No matter how badly it may be going for you, there’s always someone that needs you.

Por muy mal que la estes pasando siempre hay alguien que necesita de ti. 

9. Giving Back

When you reach your goal, don’t forget to look back.

Cuando logres tus metas nunca olvides de voltear hacia atras. 

10. Forgiveness

It’s really easy to ask someone to forgive when one hasn’t been the hurt one.

Es muy facil decir a alguien que perdone,  cuando tu no has sido el lastimado. 

11. The Thing Stronger than Love

Trust is stronger than love.

La confianza es mas fuerte que el amor. 

12. Shopping

Shopping and treating yourself is a celebration of life!

Ir de compras es una celebracion de vida!

13. Instilling Discipline in School

I never felt sorry watching my kids stay up late studying. If they stayed up late dancing, they better be staying up studying too.

Nunca tuve lastima por verlas desveladas para estudiar. Si se desvelavan para bailar pues con mas ganas para estudiar. 

14. Learning Home Economics

My mother was never concerned in teaching us how to cook. She said that once we were married with kids we would cook until the end of time. (Nick has some complaints about this one) LOL

A mi mama nunca le preocupo que aprendieramos a cocinar, dijo que cuando nos casaramos y tuvieramos hijos ibamos a cocinar hasta el fin de nuestros dias. 

15. On not wasting time.

You either do it or you don’t.

2 opciones lo hacias, o lo hacias. 

To wrap up my mama’s best advice, this is the perfect example her being an enigma:” My daugher tells me that I didn’t let her get away with anything. She doesn’t understand why I spoil her kids so much and I don’t let her be strict with them when I’m present. I tell her it’s not my fault she didn’t have a grandmother at her side to defend her when she was growing up.”

It’s true, I didn’t, but later I had the privelage of having a grandmother adopt me I called Gram, and got to witness the powers of a grandmother myself. I’m so grateful my kids have her and I hope you enjoyed my mama’s best advice! It’s so interesting to watch the same amazing woman be a mom and grandmother (abue) in such a different way. They are two different roles for sure. For now, it’s my time to discipline with love and hopefully raise strong-willed loving boys. 🙂 Would love to hear some of your mama’s best advice too! Love, Z