About 6 weeks ago, I sat in church shortly after Ash Wednesday. The homily focused on lent, and I realized that I had been too busy to even think about what to offer for lent. In years past, I’ve given up coffee, for example. One year, our priest encouraged us to not take anything away from our lives but to spend a few minutes each day imagining a severe handicap or disavantage. He suggesteed walking with a blindfold or using only one hand for a few mintues each day to imagine not having sight or use or an arm. I embrace this lent period because it has always brought me reflection and humility, and in turn blessings, really. This year, the writing was on the wall, I needed to give up shopping. So here’s what I learned from not shopping for 6 weeks!
NOTE: this post really focuses more on practical benefits of giving up shopping.
Why I chose Shopping
I could blame it on being a fashion blogger, but the reality is I’ve always been a HUGE shopper. Even when I’ve had no money as a student or as a struggling entrepreneur, I’ve always found a way to shop for clothes, accessories and shoes. One of the things I’m super grateful for in my job is that I get many of these things gifted. You would think that would satisfy my appetite for shopping but it doesn’t. I love hunting for deals and playing around with my personal style. I’ve never gone into debt by it and don’t feel financially irresponsible but it certainly had a hold on me.
Lent Background
For Lent, my understanding is that you’re trying to mimic the hunger and thirst that Jesus felt for 40 days in the desert. We do this to become more atune to what’s important, to rely more on God and less on worldly things. It was pretty clear to me that shopping had become a bit of an impulse under the guise of “it’s for work” or “I know my readers would love to shop for this!”. The reality was that it was a crutch, maybe emotional or to get that quick dopamine fix. In any case, the answer of what to offer for Lent came into my head quickly and clearly: I needed to give up shopping for 6 weeks! I left church scared and inspired. Haha.
What I learned from not shopping for 6 weeks
1. Mindless habits
A few days before giving up shopping for 6 weeks, I had a moment that makes me shudder. I had gotten to work and had to pay for parking using my phone. So I paid for parking and noticed an email notification “the white coat you wanted is back in stock!” In my size too! I quickly put in cart and purchased it, without thinking, without pausing. I got to the studio and thought, what have I done? It’s no secret I have a severe coat fetish, and had recently sold some on Poshmark, but this felt weird! It had been a mindless habit to just buy it. Shortly after giving shopping up, I noticed how much the habit was embedded in my routine. I react to emails, or fellow friends & bloggers sharing their finds.
2. Taking stock in what I have
The other thing that was nauseating was seeing how much stuff I do have. Without a constant influx of things, I could actually see what I had. Many things have tags or I haven’t worn enough. I try to buy things for the long-run, and buy quality so that I can have them for years or resell them. Even so, I found GEMS in my closet from this! Stuff I hadn’t seen for a long time. I was able to donate, flag items to sell or to dry clean or hem. I didn’t find myself wanting for a second!
3. The Green Factor : Money & the Environment
Ok, so this is obvious but the amount of money I saved and could save is significant and relevant as our economy stuggles. I had been really blessed to have businesses that I worked really hard at, that were booming. This certainly made it easier to spend more freely. At the beginning of this, COVID-19 was barely a thing. It wasn’t a factor in giving up shopping for 6 weeks for Lent! When I looked at my credit card statement I couldn’t believe my eyes, in a good way. Therefore, what if I were investing half (check this podcast out on women & money) of what I’m shopping away, in addition to what I’m saving already? I’d be a smart, rich old lady in a few years! I think I’m ready to try.
Enviromentally, fashion needs to make a change, along with me! 🙂 I’ve heard many amazing podcasts about how this COVID-19 crisis has to change the fashion industry. Why do we need 4 seasons, why are we buying disposable clothes. Again, digging back into my closet was very telling. Just because I don’t throw things away doesn’t mean I’m doing as much as possible to reduce my fashion carbon footprint.
4. Addictions & Stress
Then in the middle of all this, the COVID-19 “stuff” started to hit the fan. I just wanted my shopping hit! I fantasized about just getting this “one thing!”. We all have our bad habits we do when we are stressed and shopping is definitely #1 for me. It makes me excited to get something in the mail, or love the distraction of going to try stuff on, etc. Instead of using shopping as a stress crutch, I was more productive. I unfortunately or fortunately, didn’t find the proper replacement. Or at least haven’t yet. LOL
Full disclosure, I did get a few pieces from long-time partners that I had collaborations with. Although, I was thrilled, the feeling about those are a bit different as I know that I have obligations to fulfill for them and it’s more about accomplishing the project than it is about me “treating myself”. Still, I realize how lucky I was to get anything at all! Some of the brands I love launched Spring or new collections entirely! Some of the ones I missed were this sale on Louboutins, this collection by Danielle Bernstein, this one by Luxe Provence and many more.
5. Sober Living
As Lent came to a close I had some notions of what I wanted to buy! It wasn’t a huge list but maybe some Spring things to bring some cheer? Yesterday, the Monday after Easter, I sat down and started my usual routine that felt amazing! Click, click, add into cart…..oh and by the way, everything was 50% off! I felt light and sunny, and off to checkout I went. What happened next?
Then, a peculiar thing happened next. I checked my cart again, I deleted this amazing white confection delicacy of a dress. I pictured the kids, ok fine me, spilling something on it and deleted it. Then I went to these cute tie dye shorts set. “You hate shorts”, said the angel on my shoulder. “But it’s tie dye”, said the devil on the other shoulder. Ok, removed, I have never been a cool “shorts” girl, and probably not gonna start as I head into 41. One by one, all 7 items fell out of the cart and I walked away to play with my boys. Perhaps my ultimate addiction.
Tips for shopping more mindfully
I know I will shop again obviously, but it feels good see true behavioral changes in my habits in just 6 weeks. If you are in a shopping cycle you want to get out of, here are some tips:
- Start small- Pick a couple of categories that you’re simply not gonna shop for for a month (takes 21 days to form a habit).
- Let people know- This is not show-off or be a martyr, it’s so that they keep you accountable. If you don’t tell anyone, then you won’t be called out!
- Set limits on other shopping-If you eliminate shopping for make-up and shoes, let’s say…then limit how much you’re gonna spend on outerwear or jeans, for example. This way, you’re not overcompensating in one category.
- Get physical- moving is usually the answer to everything in my book! If you’re craving that hit of dopamine, a short workout will do the trick.
- Piggy bank it- For your trial period, keep a running total of what you would’ve bought and didn’t. If you can afford to, at the end of the month, use a third of that total to get yourself something that’s truly quality. Pick it wisely! And probably keep it forever. 🙂
So there you have it! What I learned from not shopping for 6 weeks. Hope that you are staying sane at home and whether you are religious or not, are finding opportunities to tweak self-destructive habits! XO, Z
